Serene Karplus, Nederland. We even do it to ourselves. We make a minor error and declare it a “senior moment”. Enduring joint pain or other impairments, we chalk it up to “getting old”. When we do this, we are merely reflecting and reinforcing the pervasive social prejudice that such behaviors and changes are a natural part of ageing.

Our society’s prejudice against ageing is taught as early as the age of four and is continually reinforced throughout our lives. It is ingrained so deeply that we internalize and believe that ageing is fraught with problems – medically, emotionally, socially, financially – such that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Those who don’t buy into the concept that older adults are automatically more frail and dependent, who don’t accept negative stereotypes of aging, live 7.5 years longer, according to the World Health Organization (WHO).

Ageism is more widespread, rampant, and insidious than racism or sexism. Multiple polls show that more people have experienced ageism than any other form of prejudice that we have learned as a society to abhor and eradicate. If each of us stops to check our negative comments about ourselves and listen to those around us, such as media portrayals of older adults as forgetful, slow-moving or slow-witted, or jokes in cartoons and greeting cards about ageing, we can stop the deprecating messages. When we truly observe the ageism accepted in our society as normal, we feel collectively sick to our stomachs to acknowledge our behavior. Try for just one week, listening to how many ageist prejudicial thoughts cross our minds and slip from our lips.

I have ridden with drivers of advanced age who said of others not much older than themselves things like, “That old man shouldn’t be driving anymore if he’s going to drive so slowly.” I’ve seen people label a person with hearing challenges as daft or antisocial, while they continue to talk rapidly and softly to another person nearby, specifically excluding the other companion. I’ve heard people older than the participants criticize events attended by age 50 and up as being for “old people”.

Not long ago, the host of a popular local Facebook page posted a comment that a menu with bananas for dessert is for “old people.” If she had posted that only black people eat bananas, our community would be up in arms at such blatant prejudice, yet we are so inured to this form of elder abuse, that while elders in our community felt hurt and angry and lost respect for that person, none of the thousands of members of the facebook page took her to task for it or demanded it be removed.

When my father needed heart stents, his cardiologist kept emphasizing that one of Dad’s choices was to “do nothing” to repair his blocked arteries and had to be pushed when Dad was on the table that Dad wanted a stent. The surgeon displayed a clear prejudice that a person of advanced age was less worthy of the time and effort to place the stents gladly provided to younger patients and should just be left to die of heart failure, seeing he was likely to die within the next decade anyway. This level of ageism and disrespect of an older person’s value is common in medical practice and we need to fiercely combat this prejudice. Since that operation, hundreds of all ages have benefitted from Dad’s improved physical and cognitive health, learning eyewitness world history from him and enjoying the jokes, smiles, and sweet friendliness he brings to his community.

Americans and many of their European counterparts disrespect elders because of their own fear of ageing. They associate advancing years as being closer to death and further from sexiness, terrified and in denial that (if we are lucky) we will get to be an “older adult” someday.

Our social admiration of youth and beauty instead of respect for experience is killing our older adults prematurely. As our culture reinforces long-held negative attitudes about ageing, we reduce the sense of worth our older adults feel, diminishing their opportunities and prospects, and segregating them from community. As they feel beaten down by that message, they give up earlier than those who stand proud of their contributions, actually shortening their life span.

We can combat the prejudice within ourselves and reduce the negative impacts of ageism in our community with the following simple ABCs:

Awareness: The critical starting point is to acknowledge our own attitudes and prejudices about ageing and older people.

Behaviors: Watch for ageist behaviors in and around us - and challenge them.

Connections: Connect with people of all ages, understanding that an equitable society for all ages requires intergenerational collaboration.

At Nederland Area Seniors and Mountain MidLife, we enjoy sharing social meals, fitness and wellness activities, educational and cultural events with all in our community interested in defeating pervasive prejudice and combatting ageism. Thanks for joining us!

All ages of adults are welcome at all events, attended mostly by folks over age 50. Sign up for all meals and events at 303-258-0799 or Meetup.com/Mountain-MidLife-Social-Group or by email at NederlandAreaSeniors@gmail.com. Meals are served at the Nederland Community Center. Please call two days ahead for lunch reservations (more for dinners and breakfasts if possible). Missed the deadline? Call anyway. Costs listed show first the over-age-60 requested anonymous contribution, then the under-age-60 price. Please note that all over age 60 are welcome at meals regardless of ability to contribute financially.