After a long dry spell, the merry jingle of casino slot machines could be heard again as gamblers flooded back to the gaming halls in the hopes of winning the most coveted of prizes, potable water. With the drought and ongoing destruction of the watersheds, water is the liquid gold that draws not just the dedicated gamblers but first-time customers hoping to win enough to do a load of laundry.

 The water crisis developed over an extended period of time and was compounded by a lack of investment in wildfire mitigation and watershed protection. The federal government responded to the crisis by banning any terms that suggested the cause was manmade. It slashed funding to manage public lands and sold off critical parcels for “development” which further weakened the health of the watersheds.

In the beginning, nobody thought the drought would stretch to Biblical proportions like the seven-year famine in Genesis chapter 41. The spring storms were going to fix everything, then El Niño was going to produce a bumper crop of moisture next year. Every year the optimism turned to dust as the land dried up and living things died from thirst, fire or bug.

As the years went by and the clouds floated past with no moisture, eventually the wells dried up, and the water utilities had to institute Public Safety Water Shutoffs (PSWS) so that the remaining water could be used to fight the raging wildfires that were consuming larger and larger portions of the watersheds.

The public responded by adopting water conservation methods that would have made them members of the Fremen tribes in the movie Dune but the yearning for access to fresh water was a thirst that couldn’t be quenched. Hand sanitizer became a popular product because people didn’t need to use water to wash their hands.

The casinos figured out that cloud seeding could be a way to secure additional water. They contracted for the service hoping downwind communities wouldn’t sue claiming theft of rain that would have fallen on them.

 The casino prizes were extravagant by drought standards. The grand prize was 500 gallons a month for life or a year, whichever came first.

Dan Desperate clutching his five-gallon winnings like it was a newborn heading home from the hospital said, “You can’t drink gold but I’m aiming to have a fresh cup of coffee tomorrow morning”.

The casinos had to make some adjustments to their operations like during the pandemic. They had to install huge air fresheners because the patrons were a bit gamey and security was doubled around the water tower.

Nobody knows how long the current casino promotion will last but there is hope that recent efforts to protect and preserve the watersheds will create sustainable reserves that can be drawn from by future generations. Until then April Fools and get your well checked.