NEDERLAND —  April 1, 2026, Exclusive to The Mountain-Ear.

The Town of Nederland has delivered a “serious offer” to purchase Greenland today, said Amy Verbal, the Town’s spokesperson. “What with the Town purchasing Eldora Mountain Resort, and global warming diminishing winter snowfalls and affecting the ability of the resort to make snow, we think purchasing Greenland is a great investment in the future,” said Verbal, citing the island’s vast snow reserves.

“We think we can succeed in purchasing Greenland, where President Trump failed,” she said. The Town has been actively engaged in a “charm offensive” in Greenland, sending several delegations to the island in recent days, with gifts of free tickets to the Carousel of Happiness and the Backdoor Theater given to the crowds of welcoming Greenlanders. The Town has also offered to give every native of the island nation a lifetime pass to the ski area.

“The Town has done its homework regarding the purchase,” Verbal reiterated. “We have hired some top-end consultants and spared no expense for an in-depth survey that both conclude that this is a solid investment in Town’s and the ski area’s future.”