One beautiful day about six years ago I was driving from one job to another and that pot of coffee I had drank hit me.

I had the need to pee.

So just outside of Rollinsville I pulled off the road, parked my truck, and stood behind a big ole tree. And for the first time in my life I broke the law (as it is illegal to pee behind a tree).

So I’m standing there thinking of nothing when I heard a noise and to my horror spotted a van unloading a dozen or so retirees right next to me.

I had forgotten it was mid-October.

Aspen viewing season.

And I had just been busted by a horde of the dreaded LEAF PEEPERS.

You have got to understand these people cruise around, not looking for views but for the cars parked of people looking at views.

If they see a car parked, there must be a view.

So there they were - not a aspen in sight - but they got a view all right.

So there I was-caught red-faced and handed behind that tree.

It took awhile for them blue-haired ladies (and what’s with the blue hair thing anyway) and bald men with huge ears sporting everything from throwaway cameras to monsters with tri-pods to spot me.

Stopped them dead in their tracks.

So I’m standing there surrounded by these folks-no where to turn-not done yet and did the only thing I could think of.

I started whistling.

I don’t know why but it was that tune that goes “Mares eat oats and goats eat oats but little lambs eat ivy”

In the meantime all them ladies are looking at me like I’m some kind of a pervert and the men folk are making threatening gestures with their canes and walkers as they loaded back in that van.

As they were pulling away still glaring at me through the windows I was walking to my truck.

I noticed two more carloads pulling off the road to check out the views.

It’s a short column but I’m real busy - like I said - it ain’t easy being me.