A new experience Amy Skinner trying St. Louis’s famous Ted Drewes frozen custard while on a break from the Association of Play Therapy’s annual conference in 2022. PHOTO BY RICHARD BRANDON[/caption]

“My kid doesn’t know how to study. He did well through the pandemic. We made sure he saw friends, stayed connected to family, had a healthy school routine at home; all the things! He did fine on-line, and did fine going back to school. But now he’s just struggling. And when we try to help, he gets angry and says we’re ‘invading his privacy.’ What happened?” Jason sat there dejectedly, staring at the floor.

“Is he depressed?” asked Wanda. “Is he doing drugs? Is he addicted to devices?”

“What does dinner look like in your home?” I asked. This is a common question for kiddos in our playroom.

“Oh, you know,” Betsy responded.

“Nope, I don’t!” I said. “Some kids love tacos and spaghetti, others enjoy salmon or curry. What’s your favorite food?”

“I eat grilled cheese,” Betsy shared. “And sometimes we watch a movie while we eat; that’s fun. But usually I have a stomach ache,” Betsy shared as she put her hand on her stomach.

“You do? What’s up with your tummy?” I wondered out loud.

“Mom and Dad get mad, because I only eat grilled cheese. I don’t like anything else, except vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup.”

“I have reached my limit! I am so sick of being sick. My kids bring home virus after virus, and we just can’t get well. Someone’s been sick since school started!” Zeb scooted back in his chair, as if he might catch something new sitting there.

“We talked about this,” I reminded him. “Part of your kids now being old enough to be in school means they bring home germs. It’s like first year teachers; they just can’t stay healthy.”

“I know,” said Zeb. “But it’s exhausting. I am always caretaking someone. There’s not even time or space for me to take care of myself when I’m the sick one. And now we’re adding in play dates, library visits, swim lessons. It never ends!”

Part of wrapping up 2022 was the revealing of more of the long-term impact of the pandemic on families. It can be confusing to sort through if there’s something medical, psychological, developmental, or the aftermath of pandemic experiences. Wanda and Jason’s son had transitioned from tween to teen and without the normal developmental school experiences, they were all feeling lost and confused. We worked together to create a “re-do,” so they could step more confidently into his teen years.

Betsy was moving from toddler to kid food during the pandemic and, with all the stress going on, it was easiest to make grilled cheese and call it a day. But now she was stuck on a few foods, and it was negatively impacting her life (and her health). We started with a thorough physical for Betsy, including sensory (psychological) assessment.

Zeb and his family loved their insular time during the pandemic as their babies turned into toddlers, but now they were struggling to find the healthiest/best way for their family to interact with the outside world. We took a two-prong approach: 1) reach out to grandparents and cousins to help with caretaking, 2) create an intentional schedule to experiment with activities, play dates, etc. until they discovered their own particular style.

2023 might bring some unique challenges. As we sort through what we and our families might need after these past few long years, gentleness, (lots of) communication, slowing down, and searching out resources will give us a good foundation for the new year!

I’d love to hear about your experiences at amy@peaktopeakcounseling.com, 303-258-7454, and you can always find past articles at www.peaktopeakcounseling.com or find us at www.facebook.com/ peaktopeakcounselingservices.