Hansen Wendlandt, Pastor, NCPC. I worked at various summer camps for many years, with churches, sports camps, and Boy Scouts. Generally those were great jobs for me—especially as I transitioned into adulthood—with responsibilities for other people’s safety and emotional well-being. My goal was always to balance the structure of activities like archery, and cabin rules, with the spontaneity of soccer games in the rain or deep conversations on mountain hikes. Camps offer such a benefit for kids to spend time away from their routine and pressures of school, and into the lessons of community and confidence and nature. I still volunteer at Highlands Camp in Allenspark, because I think they do a great job of helping youngsters develop into courageous, thoughtful, compassionate people.

Years ago, out on the east coast, one rainy Wednesday the boys didn’t want to play soccer. Nor did they want to play any of the ridiculous games I’d invented for down time in the cabin—awesome middle school games like jousting while dangling from the rafters, blindly smashing mattresses together, and throwing wet socks at each other’s faces. Come on, I was a great counselor!

Somehow, at this time, in that cabin, the boys just wanted to talk. They were baring their little souls to each other, although it became clear that some of them held heavy burdens. My sense, having spent enough time around young boys, was that some of these stories were boyhood posturing. “Oh, your teacher is that mean. Well my coach is worse!” But when a couple of them began talking about how their dads treated them…. These were ambiguous tales on the edge of abuse. So, I filed it away, looking for other signs of confirmation.

When the camp week was over, and tired happy kids rushed to hug parents, one of those boys was met, instead, with a loud, angry father, who smelled of last night’s bender. I talked calmly to him a couple times—let the young man clean the cabin, come down to the lodge with the other parents to watch their silly performance.

Nothing changed. He maintained such an inappropriate attitude, making other children nervous, and once grabbing his son’s arm aggressively. So, I made the difficult decision to withhold the boy and contact Child Services.

It was a messy situation, intensified when the dad jabbed his finger into my chest, saying, “If I lose my boy, I’m going to hunt you down.” The most scared I have ever been in my life was the next Monday, when I heard through the walkie talkies that one of the new kids had spotted a “hunter” in the woods behind the cabins. I don’t think it was that dad, but I did spend quite a bit of time seething about this bully, who threatened me and relied on strength to hold down his son.

There is something about child abuse that tears so deeply into our hearts and souls. It is such an affront to innocence and growth. I’ve dealt with teenagers who have been raped, teenagers who considered suicide, and all sorts of traumatic experiences. But that week of camp was just about the most difficult thing I could conceive of facing, in 15 years of ministry and working with kids.

I say “just about the most difficult,” because there is something even worse.

When children are abused sexually, it can destroy their trust and hopefulness. It can make it so hard for them to live a joyful life. It can tear down a family, devastate an organization or church. It can rip apart a town or neighborhood. There is no event that more forces me to question God’s goodness, than when a child is taken advantage of in this way.

At the Community Church, we have safeguards against predators, and many ways to ensure child safety. We do background checks, have clear policies, engage in training, and keep open communication between parents, children, and caregivers. I’m sure other local organizations that work with kids have similar guidelines, to protect kids and themselves.

On the other side of that equation, what strategies and guidelines do parents have, to be vigilant about the kids’ coaches, activity leaders, and teachers? Other than a careful eye and gut feeling, what can a parent do to watch for their children’s safety, physically, emotionally, and sexually?

A group of Nederland organizations have joined together to offer a class on Parenting Safe Children, taught by professional social worker Feather Berkower. This will teach you how to communicate better with your kids without frightening them, what questions to ask babysitters and other adults in your children’s lives, what policies to expect from groups that they join, and how to empower children to set their own good boundaries. The workshop happens on May 9 from 10-2 at the Community Church. You can sign up at parentingsafechildren.com – look for the link to Workshop Schedule and Registration.

Of course, you spend money for a good child safety seat, or for the right bike helmet, and in the same way, this class does cost a bit. However, with help from Teen Center and the Community Church, scholarships are available. (Contact aimee.tomlinson@gmail.com for those.) Also, with help from Aspen Grove and Little Bear, childcare is provided for free! If you have questions, call Pastor Hansen at 303-258-3579.