Ann Sherman, Parenting Matters Coordinator, TEENS, Inc. Kids have probably just experienced six months of erratic sleep patterns, social isolation from friends, and an unusual routine as they approach the new school year. It may be extra challenging to get children back into their groove to do formal learning. Since many families struggled with virtual learning in the spring, here are some ways to make remote learning work better this time around.

Many parents are experiencing their own set of background stressors at the same time they’re being asked to fulfill a home learning role they weren’t trained for. Noncooperative behavior and dysregulated emotions are to be expected from your child (and possibly even from yourself.)  

However, parents can draw from strategies that today’s educators typically use to transition children into a positive school environment. Parents can intentionally use these same tools while at home with their child.  

The following four pillars are the foundational backbone to helping kids learn. These are important any year, but especially now when children have been unmoored by the pandemic, increased family tension, and our current socio-political climate. These pillars provide specific help in regulating a child’s nervous systems so they can become curious and enthusiastic learners.  They are ~

Insuring your own Personal Wellness because emotionally distraught adults CANNOT help a child regulate and settle into learning.  

Set an intention to start and end each school day by putting yourself in a regulated state. Join with your child in practicing mindfulness during the NES Moment to Pause at the beginning of each day. Go to https://streams.thisisreboot.com/binatural/  along with username:  inhale@thisisreboot.com and password: justbreathe. End each day reflecting on what went well (a rose), what was challenging (a thorn), then set a positive intention for the next day.

At least once per day, pause & mentally scan your body for tight spots. Identify how you are feeling at that moment, and take some time to stretch, go for a walk, tighten and release any tension in your shoulders, jaw, chest or stomach.  

When feeling overwhelmed, pause and reframe your negative thoughts into ones with more hope, courage, humor and strength. (i.e. “I can get through this last lesson by singing the directions to my daughter like a country western singer.  I can do this!” versus “Geez, I hate this”!) Your thoughts will affect your emotional state.    

Surround yourself with positive friends and get encouragement from school counselor Kristen Kron (720) 549-0293) or Mountain Strong Families Coordinator, Ann Sherman (ann@teensinc.org). Reach out, but if no one is around, look in the mirror and use positive self-talk to encourage yourself to keep going. Be your own best friend. Find a way to communicate with the parents of the other students in your child’s class who are in the same boat.

Create Predictability. It will help if your family begins their day by practicing the same behaviors you would as if you were going off to school and work.

First and foremost, get back on a regular sleeping/wake up schedule. Toddlers need 12 -14 hours of sleep/day. Preschoolers require 10-13 hours per night, while elementary kids need 9 -12 hours/night. Kids become hyper, disagreeable, and have extreme changes in behavior when they are tired.   

Make the start of school a big deal. Just like before, many kids love picking out their school supplies, getting some new clothes, having that special breakfast on the first day, or taking their picture. Involve your child in setting up and decorating their workspace to get organized and to reflect their personality. Families can create new meaningful rituals and traditions. Have your child go out the front door, ride their bike to the back door, and walk into “school” each day.  

Post a visual schedule each day for your child to refer to. They will know what is coming down the pike ~ mindfulness practice, the order of subjects, recess breaks, meals or snacks, dance party, etc. Pictures of what they will be doing also help younger children understand the flow of their day.  

Help your child look forward to a morning ritual each day. Find a fun way of giving them attention and connection before you get to work. Snuggle in bed together while talking about the day ahead (or before your pillow fight or tickle fest). One family begins their school day with three traditions ~ the child gets to read a fun fact from National Geographic, pick a movement for the parent to mimic, and then they review the day’s schedule.  

Use consistent routines to slowly transition from one subject/activity to another. Let your child know in advance when they have 10 minutes left before they need to switch gears. Sing one of their favorite songs, use a chime or responsive chant to focus their attention before giving directions for the next activity. These repetitive routines build muscle memory to help move the child from one activity to the next without as much resistance. Make a daily checklist of required activities and have them mark off items before heading to the next activity.  

“When we do something new, we’ll first talk it through.” Pre-teach the concrete steps and help your child visualize them before doing their assignment. “Pretend play” how the school day will go. Get on a Zoom call with your child and let them pretend to teach you. Act out new situations and provide clear expectations.  

Honor time for movement breaks or time in your home-based calming center. At school, students are used to calling this a “brain break.” When school work seems overwhelming, take 10 minutes to snuggle on the couch while listening to music, or stop and do jumping jacks every 20 minutes. These breaks allow the child’s nervous system to rebalance. Knowing there will be breaks from learning helps your child pace themselves through their assignments.  

Look for another set of tips next week in Simple Strategies for Creating Sanity during Remote Learning (Part Two).

(Originally published in the August 27, 2020, edition of The Mountain-Ear.)