Serene Karplus, Nederland.   People smiled at us when we walked along a trail or down the street, all three of us holding hands. My 92-year-old Dad needed a little stability assistance to go out with us and flexible human stabilizers on either side of him proved far more effective than a cane. When I had to pull away for a task and dropped Dad’s hand, leaving Jim holding Dad’s other hand, no one thought it strange that two grown men held hands as they walked through town. Dad needed assistance and Jim lovingly provided it to his older friend.

Love is where we find it. Familial love for parents, siblings, or children, love for an old friend, a spouse, or neighbor are just a few of the many kinds of love we feel. Very few of the loving relationships we enjoy throughout our lives include an expression of love that involves a sexual encounter, and very few are concerned with gender or race. People are just people and we love the ones we love in whatever way is appropriate.

Last week I saw a young male couple walking hand-in-hand in their Boulder neighborhood and an older female couple dancing to a street band. I felt relief that these individuals who had found love within their own gender did not have to hide their affection for one another and could enjoy their relationship in public in the same ways that hetero couples can.

This week we commemorate the 20th anniversary of the passing of the victim of a heinous crime. Others similar to it happen every day, but this one ended so tragically that warm-hearted people across an entire nation grieved for the victim and for his family. On a cold night in October, 1998, two men offered a young man a ride home from a bar in Laramie, Wyoming, with the intent to rob him. They brutally beat him, tied him to a crude wooden fence, took his shoes and wallet, then left him for dead.
Five days later, on October 12, Matt Shephard died in a hospital, not yet 22 years old, his ambitions to make a difference for human and civil rights cut short. His murderers, even at trial, still referred to him as a fag and queer.

Each is now serving two consecutive life sentences.

Within two months, his parents created an educational foundation so that Matt’s death could make a difference in the lives of thousands of others. He now has, as he had always dreamed, affected the lives of millions. We are now a full generation past his era, so no one age 25 or younger heard or read the story when it happened. Many of these young people have felt the protection of the landmark Shepard-Byrd Act of 2009 identifying violence based on gender identity as a hate crime, changing how such crimes are reported and tracked.

Still, people in any of at least a dozen categories summarized by the five letters LGBTQ, are afraid – of perpetrators, of accusations during reporting, of repercussions. Youth today in many schools are taught to understand and respect differences in people, creating safer spaces for individual expression, but violence still looms, with 70% still receiving verbal threats 30% physical threats and 10% being attacked, according to a 2018 Human Rights Campaign Report.

The Matthew Shepard Foundation (www.matthewshepard.org) empowers individuals to embrace human dignity and diversity through outreach, advocacy and resource programs. They strive to replace hate with understanding, compassion and acceptance.

Many similar resources can be helpful to teachers, parents, and the rest of us. Some for this topic include The Laramie Project, the documentary “Matt Shepard is a Friend of Mine,” and a book of poems called “October Mourning: A song for Matthew Shepard.” Many other topics that arm us against today’s world of hate may be found at the site for Teaching Tolerance, at www. tolerance.org.

All ages of adults are welcome at all events, attended mostly by folks over age 50. Sign up for all meals and events at 303-258-0799 or Meetup.com/Mountain-MidLife-Social-Group or by email at NederlandAreaSeniors@gmail.com. Meals are served at the Nederland Community Center. Please call two days ahead for lunch reservations (more for dinners and breakfasts if possible). Missed the deadline? Call anyway. Costs listed show first the over-age-60 requested anonymous contribution, then the under-age-60 price. Please note that all over age 60 are welcome at meals regardless of ability to contribute financially.

(Originally published in the October 11, 2018, print edition of The Mountain-Ear.)