Rebecca Shardy, Nederland. Mashed potatoes, or sweet potatoes? Which do you prefer on Thanksgiving? Does it say you are indecisive if you reply both? If you chose mashed potatoes, it doesn’t make you starchy and lumpy. You are not defined by your opinion and selecting sweet potatoes won’t mean you must despise stuffing, or those who call it best. 

We can enjoy our favorite foods at the holiday table without comparisons or imposing them on others. Same goes with ideas about politics or religion. It’s okay to have differences of palate, pulpit and preference of president. 

Opinions come and go. A point of view at 18 likely changed over the years. If we assume beliefs are as immovable as Mount Rushmore, remember even mountains move, and oceans have become deserts with time.

We don’t have to pick one. Some people MUST keep their food from touching on the plate, but nothing tastes better to me than creamed corn mixed in with my potatoes. Likewise, I am as traditional about some matters as my ancestors: a clean house, hard work and caring for one’s family, especially the aged. On other issues that were not even topics in their time - vegetarianism, gay marriage - I am progressive. No one is just one thing.

We inherited an age in which diverse ideas and daunting news swirl around us like a cyclone. Our ancestors lived with people who usually looked and thought the same, without much outside interference. Like the universe, we are expanding beyond our comfort zone; a call to growth. The internet holds up a mirror showing us images of our own fears, envy and resentments. We can use it to discipline our minds and open our hearts to more trust, generosity and compassion, or let it inflame us to lash out at others.

All people, conservative, liberal, (and neither) are hurting. All the different colors of the rainbow arise after the same rain. Knowing our common struggle, can we offer patience and mercy at the holidays? A person who expresses a thought is more than that thought. Pass on quick judgment and season your preferences with the salt of empathy. In that peaceful place, you might hear well enough to learn something from each other. There are many choices at dinner, and in life, but we still sit at one table as one very fragile human family. 

Rebecca is a Nederland Community Library lover and author, speaker and facilitator of workshops for connecting with nature, people and our best selves through empathy and intuition. For information on her interactive presentations, contact her at rebekahshardy@yahoo.com or (970) 308-8393.

NCL staff recommended readings on compassion: The Compassionate Connection: the healing power of empathy and mindful listening by David Rakel. The Peace Book by Todd Parr. Peace is Every Step: the path of mindfulness in everyday life by Thich Nhat Hanh. Welcoming the Unwelcome:  Wholehearted living in a brokenhearted world by Pema Chodron. The Sneetches by Dr. Seuss. Stone Soup by Marcia Brown

(Originally published in the November 28, 2019, print edition of The Mountain-Ear.)