Ann Sherman, Nederland. It’s never easy to talk about substance use with our kids. What do we say to them when 4/20 rolls around in a state that was one of the first to legalize recreational marijuana for adults? What stories do we share about the partying days of our youth and the lessons we learned? What guidance do we give our children as they grow up surrounded by easy access to substances in the here and now? Have you thought about what you want to say to your child?

Our children notice when we pop a pill to relieve our headache, host a celebration where the alcohol is flowing, take a toke to release some stress or fill our prescriptions at the pharmacy. And long before they arrive at middle school, children become intrigued with kids vaping candy-flavored aerosols laced with nicotine. Everywhere they turn, children are learning cultural values about adult substance use, and at the same time are becoming aware of relatives and family friends who have struggled with addiction. Substances are all around them and woven into the daily routine and celebrations of American life. Our children become curious about drugs from an early age and wonder what role substances will play in their own lives.

Ninety percent of parents in Colorado report they have talked with their children about substance use. However, only about 50 percent of Nederland area middle and high school students remember having that conversation. Often, children are left with only a vague awareness of their parent’s personal values and expectations about underage substance use. They are often unmoored-- with no clear limits to guide the decisions they will make.

Research studies have taught us that parents are the number one reason kids use less substances. Stop and read that again. Parents are the number one reason kids make healthier choices about drug use. When kids have the kind of relationship where they can talk to their parents about tough issues, and continuously have two-way conversations, teen drug usage goes down. Prevention research has shown that even if a parent frequently utilizes substances themselves, it’s still effective to set a clear expectation that their child will not use substances as a youth, due to it being illegal, due to their brain still developing, etc.

On April 3, 2019, MaryErin Mueller, Behavioral Health Advocate for BVSD, shared tips with local parents about how to have an effective conversation with children of varying ages based on the SpeakNowColorado framework. Some of the key components of a proactive conversation included: not discussing substance use in the heat of the moment (i.e. you’ve just found paraphernalia in their bedroom), finding informal moments to talk (i.e. driving in the car or when social media is all abuzz about a celebrity’s usage), first asking curious, open-ended, nonjudgmental questions to get your child reflecting about drugs in their life, using facts, not fear, to persuade, expressing clear rules about youth substance use, teaching healthy alternatives for increasing the naturally-occurring feel-good chemicals in their bodies and roleplaying how to say “no” to substance use in various situations.

One of the most persuasive facts that parents can share is the brain is still developing until at least the age of 25. Using substances before that time can have long-term effects to memory, learning, emotional regulation and can hard-wire the brain to be more predisposed to addiction down the road.

More information about age-appropriate conversations can be found at SpeakNowColorado.org. In particular, check out the Healthy Habits Action Plan by SpeakNow. Parents and children create a plan together by identifying valid reasons to avoid illegal substances, identifying specific situations where your child feels pressured and tempted to imbibe, and brainstorming how to manage each of these situations.

We all love our children and want the best for them. So, when will you have your next conversation about underage substance use and your hopes and dreams for your child?

(Originally published in the April 18, 2019, print edition of The Mountain-Ear.)