Trinity grew up in North Dakota with six other siblings. Being around a gaggle of kids seems like it would have prepared her to be a parent. But Trinity, and her partner Jake, soon realized they knew very little when they started their own family. When they had their first child, they began attending Mountain Strong Families classes. The pair have been showing up monthly for the last four years.

“Initially, it was the dinner and childcare that lured us inside of Nederland Elementary. But as we had more children, it became a no-brainer,” Jake said. It’s that good. “There aren’t any barriers to being there each month.”

“This has become our family’s support system,” insisted Trinity. “It helps us feel normal in this difficult job of parenting. It has allowed us to find our own parenting path while offering so many helpful tools” and research-based strategies. Their friends across the country are envious that Nederland has this free resource for all parents.

The series provides a wealth of practical knowledge about children, served up alongside relationship-based skills that strengthen the bond between parents and children. At the same time, the approach ensures children are developing social emotional skills.

Parenting isn’t easy. We don’t always show up as our best selves. We expect too much from children. We’re often exhausted. It can feel like everyone else is juggling all of life’s demands just fine. “However, the Series made me feel like I’m good enough as a parent,” said Trinity. “It has helped us change some of our approaches and we’ve also been affirmed for what we’re already doing well.”

It’s a supportive group of parents and facilitators to draw energy from. This year, Chrissy Quinlan and Betsy Epp will host the sessions.

Jake works as a team leader. He views the Parenting Series as “a powerful return on investment” for the time he spends there. “I’ve been able to connect with other dads, use these tools with my children, and adapt the people skills for use in my job. We learned that our brains need to address emotions before we can effectively solve problems. This knowledge has been invaluable at work.”

“A handout about giving genuine apologies is taped to our refrigerator door,” adds Jake. “So much of what we learn has been applicable throughout my entire life.” These classes have allowed Jake and Trinity to apply ideas to their relationships. Co-parenting becomes much easier when both caregivers agree on the strategies they want to use with their children. Single parents also glean support from other parents.

“A lack of community and limited education about children are the hardest parts of being a parent,” Trinity reflected. “This Series shared knowledge, created peer support for us, and gave us emotional strength for the hard moments of parenting. Tantrums and big emotions don’t faze me like they used to.”

“We used to utilize the practice of ‘time outs,’ but now we’re trying more effective discipline which also builds social emotional skills. It took me three years to finally understand a ‘time in’ approach when my child needed to co-regulate with me,” Trinity said.

Jake adds, “It actually takes hearing something seven times to absorb it.”

Trinity laughs, “Then we have three more years to go!”

The monthly classes offer options to try, not an easy fix. Raising human beings is a long-term effort. “It’s never one and done,” admitted Trinity. “If we keep modeling these healthy skills, our children will eventually get it. I’m just now learning how breathwork makes a huge difference in allowing me to regulate my anger and stress. I’ve also learned how to be more aware of what my body is telling me, and to verbalize my emotions when I’m upset. I’ve been delighted to hear my children mimicking these same strategies to calm themselves.”

“One regular routine that Jake and I use now are regular family meals. Our whole family pauses to take a few breaths before we begin eating. Our older children take turns leading this. We recently added sharing everyone’s high and low points from their day. Connecting in this way has worked wonders to strengthen our relationships.”

An evening at Mountain Strong Families almost feels like “date night.” Families share a meal, then focus on the parenting topic. The children scamper off to play. “You’ve gotta go do this!” said Trinity. “It has made our life so much easier!”

The Mountain Strong Families Series, hosted by TEENS, Inc. at NES, begins on Tuesday, September 12, at 5:15 p.m. Register for eight monthly sessions by contacting betsy@teensinc.org by September 5.