The atmosphere at the first Mountain Strong Families (MSF) parenting event on September 12, hosted by TEENS, Inc., radiated positivity. Several initially hesitant parents confessed that they will return for next month’s session. During the gathering, parents found solace in laughter and camaraderie, while families shared a meal. Simultaneously, children played together, giving the adults an opportunity to engage in thoughtful conversation concerning the art of nurturing children with robust social-emotional skills. Evidently, the event left a profound impact, with several enthusiastic parents signing up for further insights on the Mountain Strong Families Facebook page.

In a moment of vulnerability, one attendee admitted, “After tonight, I feel like it’s okay to not be the perfect mom. It was refreshing to share our struggles together.”

Mountain Strong parenting classes provide parents and caregivers with research based strategies for developing a child’s social-emotional competencies. Dr. Dan Siegel, author of The Power of Showing Up and No-Drama Discipline, highlights four non-negotiable experiences that are indispensable for a child’s ability to flourish in our ever-evolving world: being seen, soothed, safe, and secure. Specific parenting techniques are associated with nurturing each of these essential experiences in children.

If the ultimate objective is to rear children who are equipped with self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, robust relationship skills, and ethical decision-making abilities, then our parenting styles must be tailored to support such development. Attendees were introduced to the nurturing parenting philosophy, a curriculum grounded in a comprehension of a child’s cognitive and emotional growth. This approach acknowledges the inner world of a child’s emotions and needs, highlighting that a parent’s selfawareness, emotional management, and self-care are crucial in fostering a nurturing bond with their child.

Additionally, this approach emphasizes coaching undeveloped skills rather than resorting to punitive reactions or punishments when children exhibit challenging behaviors. Dr. Siegel firmly believes that focusing solely on external behavior, rather than addressing a child’s emotions and underlying needs, fails to cultivate essential social-emotional skills.

Children often exhibit problematic behaviors when they feel disconnected from others. Such disconnection can naturally occur when parents and children are separated due to work or school, when parents become frustrated with a child’s outward behavior, or when adults are occupied with the daily hustle and bustle. Recognizing these disconnections and actively striving to reestablish a connection with the child is a fundamental responsibility of parents.

It is not uncommon for children to express that their parents do not engage in discussions about feelings or are too preoccupied to participate in their activities. These sentiments reflect an innate longing for meaningful connection with their caregivers. To instill a sense of secure attachment in children, deep connections must be forged each day. This doesn’t require constant attention, but rather moments of quality interaction where adults genuinely understand their child’s inner world - a realm of imagination, emotions, memories and perspectives.

Parents were encouraged to designate deliberate “special one-on-one time” each day, entering their child’s world. This might involve commenting on a child’s artwork or engaging in their favorite video game, dressing up, stargazing, playful wrestling, or simply cuddling in the evening.

While “functional parenting” ensures a child’s basic needs for sleep and nourishment are met, “nurturing parenting” delves deeper, providing a quality of presence that helps a child feel acknowledged and understood. A strong foundation of connection between parent and child fosters the development of focused attention, insight, empathy, and compassion. In the absence of this secure connection, children may persist in demanding, whiny, or socially dramatic behavior.

Parents who strive for a ratio of five positive interactions with their child, for every one correction or critique tend to find their child more cooperative and receptive. Imagine asking your child, “Do you feel seen and understood by your parents?” Children feel “seen” when we immerse ourselves in their world, follow their lead, and empathize with their feelings of disconnection, actively striving to reconnect.

In a world brimming with work demands, household chores, and constant distractions from devices, it is essential that we intentionally connect daily with our children.

Each subsequent MSF session builds upon the previous one, delving deeper into the complexity of how a child’s brain nurtures the social-emotional skills that we all aspire to witness in our grown children.

In the wake of this transformative event, attendees left with a renewed sense of purpose and inspiration. One parent said, “I realize I’ve got a lot to learn,” highlighting the power of knowledge and growth through our journey as parents.

The next session, facilitated by Chrissy Quinlin, and hosted by TEENS, Inc., is scheduled for October 17, at Nederland Elementary School. Attendees will explore the rationale behind children’s behavior. This promises to be an opportunity to glean wisdom from the lessons of the past and combine them with cutting-edge neuroscience to shape healthy, whole individuals. Reach out to betsy@teensinc.org for more information or to register for the next session.