People often ask me what the hardest thing about being a police officer is. It’s funny how that answer changes from year to year. Although it may be true this job is somewhat of a “calling,” as people like to

It’s always been something else for me.

It has been home. It has been hell. It has been pride. It has been practice. Most of all it has been everything I’ve ever known and cared about. It is why I missed my daughter’s dance recitals, parent teacher conferences, moving her into her college apartment. But....it helped make my daughter into the strong, loving, independent, young woman she is today. Her internal compass is one of the most solid I’ve ever had the honor of experiencing.

And you know what else it taught her? How to be true to the people you love and care about. How to not pretend you aren’t letting them down. How to model stepping up and leaning into sacrifice when required. Sacrifices no human could possibly imagine unless they have walked in it. Lived it. Held it all in until the end of the shift, the week, the month, until they couldn’t anymore.

I have held on for Nederland. I have held on quietly for this Town, the community who supported me unwaveringly, for the badge. I have held on through all of the questions, news stories, inquiries, letters to the BOT from people who have all of the answers. I have held on.

What is the hardest part of being a police officer today? Simple answer. The weight of the badge comes from within my heart. It doesn’t come from the trauma of what I experienced, not from the haters, not from being generalized about, not from predators, foes, or people who want to kill me.

I thank the people of the Town of Nederland. I am truly honored and humbled to have been given the opportunity to know you. To serve you. To be accepted into your fold. Because of you, when some time passes, I will look at my retirement badge and it won’t feel so heavy any longer. It will feel like the shield of humanity and benevolence it is meant to be.

I thank you as the person behind the badge,

Jennifer Fine-Loven

Nederland