Barbara Lawlor, Central City.   Central City brings in bed race lovers. That means that people from all over the Denver and mountain areas, who love to watch bed races, show up to cheer on their favorite team. It is one of Central City’s longest running summertime events and the daytime competitive event doesn’t seem to be running low on race enthusiasts.

Nederland has its cryogenically frozen grandfather to celebrate and Central City pays homage to its bawdy madam of the Sporting House Girls, Lou Bunch, who, so the story goes, grew too large to get out of her brass bed.

During the town’s gold-mining boom, Lou Bunch was running sporting houses on Pine Street, the city’s red-light district. When a tuberculosis epidemic broke out, she turned her places of business into makeshift hospitals, where she and the girls nursed miners back to health. After all, mining and the men who worked the mines were the basis of the sporting girls’ economy.

Madam Lou Bunch owned the most successful brothel in Central City. Without healthy miners, Central City’s economy would have been devastated.

In 1976, “The Duchess and the Dirtwater Fox”, much of which was filmed in Central City, included a scene which featured a bed race.

Although the scene was not used, the concept took root and town officials decided to mine the idea, bringing in summer tourists.

Teams of two men and one woman race in a bed on wheels, decorated with their business’s logo. Their costumes run from sexy to cute to historically correct for the era. Since the legalization of gambling, many of the teams race for their place of employment, carrying on a tradition of friendly competition which allows both men and women to show off their muscles and tattoos. This year was the debut of an all-female team, and although they didn’t win a prize for speed, they did win over the crowd and received the best costume award. The three women were part of the Central City Opera troop in town for the opera season.

Other events of the day included: performances by the Sporting House Girls, live music, a parade, a costume contest, and the Madam’s and Miner’s Ball.

Having only one bed levels the playing field and each team has to figure out their own way to keep the careening bed under control as it zigs and zags down the course.

Shirley Voorhies was the race coordinator, picking up her megaphone and giving the count down for each team as they rolled up to the start line.

Johnny Z’s entered four teams into the competition and their red long-underwear made them stand out from the crowd. Johnny won the Old Farts Award for having a grand total of 144 years among them. Z Casino won second place with a time of 86.49 seconds and Johnny Z’s took first place in the timed competition.

The Youngest Team in this year’s race was the Central City Opera, with 73 years total. The CCO also won the Best Costume Award.

Third Place winners were the Famous Bonanza/Easy Street Casinos, with a time of 91.97 seconds.

The Worst Time Award went to Main Street Central City, who had a time of 133.05 seconds.

It’s all a matter of keeping the racers in the bed and keeping the bed from running over the crowd.

This year’s teams included: Famous Bonanza/Easy Street; Main Street, Central City; Johnny Z’s Casino, Z Casino; Grand Z Casino and the Central City Opera, with these results:

1st place bed race: Johnny Z’s Casino, 86.11 seconds.

2nd place: Z Casino, 86.49 seconds 3rd place: Famous Bonanza/Easy Street Casino, 91.97 seconds.

1st place Madam: Ms. Judge Mental

2nd place: Emerald Fire.

3rd place: Feathers Galore.

1st place Sporting House girl: Bombay Sapphire.

2nd place: Lace Gypsy.

3rd place: Porsche Hot Rod.

1st place Dandy Dan: Touch me Tyler.

2nd place: Gentleman Jeremy.

3rd place: Doc Huffman.

(Originally published in the June 21, 2018, print edition of The Mountain-Ear.)