Sara Sandstrom-Kobi, Peak to Peak. Mother Smother. Have you experienced this during the last four weeks? My sister mentioned the term to me. Do not misunderstand. She does not mean smother mother, like an over involved or helicopter parent. She meant that right now mothers especially those with smaller children are in a sense suffocating. If you are working from home, homeschooling your children, following the stay-at-home order the best you can and…and…and… You might be in the same position and struggling with Mother Smother. In short, it means you have no time to yourself. No time to decompress. No time to just be. 

A couple weeks ago a neighbor walked by with her young children and from across the road she lamented at the fact that she had no time to herself. I said that I understood and gave a reassuring smile as they continued on their walk. What more can we do than listen to each other and acknowledge having the same struggle? 

We are all feeling alone and overwhelmed and yet we have to find a way to continue every day. And we do continue, despite the mother smother. Every day there are good things happening and every day there are frustrations. And some days lately the house seems to be filled with arguments. It is no secret that a parent will at times hide in the bathroom just to have a few moments of peace. Now more than ever we are hoping that the kids will finally understand that a closed door means not to come in. Wishful thinking?

With days seemingly blending together the fact that Easter was approaching caught me off guard. I was reminded when my daughter came out of her room with her Easter hat on and said it barely fits her, but she will be wearing it to church on Easter. I could see and feel her excitement and my heart sank. I had to explain that we can not have church services right now and we will not be going to church on Easter. No traditional pancake breakfast, which she loves, and no place to go to wear her festive Easter clothes. I gave her a hug and said I was disappointed too. She took the hat off, turned around looking sad and defeated and went back to her room. 

I could not recreate Easter at church with all the friendly and wonderful people, but we could do a few things to feel a little normal. I had impulse bought an egg decorating kit a couple months ago and dug that out. Dad decorated eggs with the kids so I could shake off some of that Mother Smother. On Easter Sunday we had an egg hunt inside because of the snow. Then, we watched the church service online and ate pancakes. 

The day was not our ideal or traditional Easter day, but it was enough for this year. You can bet that for Easter 2021 my daughter will have a new Easter hat, whichever one she chooses, and will be wearing her favorite Easter dress to church. 

As for making it through the stay-at-home order and coping with Mother Smother, I am reminded of what my neighbor told me years ago. When the energy gets too high in the house and she starts to lose control she calls for a Zen Ten. That means the parent gets ten minutes to calm down on their own with no interruptions. It is something I should have implemented years ago, but no time like the present. This will give me time to think about the next Homeschool Home Economics Lesson: Toilet Flushing. 

(Originally published in the April 16, 2020, print edition of The Mountain-Ear.)