Christian T. Hill, M.A., Peak to Peak. The intentional act of physically hurting oneself in order to relieve psychological or emotional pain seems utterly confusing, scary and counter intuitive. It is fair to ask, “If someone is already in pain, why would they intentionally inflict more pain on themselves?” Further, why would someone inflict pain that leaves behind scars that will be seen by others?

I have specialized in treating teenagers that self-harm for the last 15 years. During this time, I have had the unique opportunity to get a behind-the-scenes look into the thoughts and emotions of those who choose self-harm. What most people don’t understand is that people who self-harm see this as relief instead of a form of pain. There are many reasons why teenagers engage in self-harm. One aspect is the endorphin theory. When we are hurt, we produce a rush of feel-good endorphins throughout the entire body. This rush of endorphins can not only create a soothing sensation, but also become very addicting.

Since self-harm can provide some temporary relief, most teenagers doing it will say that it feels good in the moment. However, it’s the after effect and ramifications of self-harm that tend to have the most devastating emotional consequences and result in your loved ones having a distorted view of themselves and the world around them. It is the psychological impact of self-harm that often promotes a deeper craving to punish or hurt through self-harm, which in turn often leads to deeper feelings of shame and guilt. In this, lies the deceptive danger of self-harm that can so easily lead into a slow, self-destructive, addictive cycle, resulting in deeper or more frequent cuts as well as fostering more self-hatred.

However, before we detach ourselves too much from those suffering emotionally, physically or psychologically, we should ask ourselves, “In what ways do we also self-harm?” Although many people have not physically picked up a razor to cut themselves in an attempt to cope with life, many have vices or negative habits that are also self-destructive.

Whether it is alcohol, cigarettes, vaping, food, drugs, pornography, being a workaholic or any other vice, the self-destructive formula is still present and affects millions of adults. When adults are in pain or feel out of control or overwhelmed, they look for ways to either numb the pain, escape or simply yearn to feel better in the moment. Even though they know these decisions do not actually solve the underlying issues, adults can easily succumb to the temptation of these vices because they provide temporary relief in the moment.

While some of these behaviors may provide temporary relief, most adults would also acknowledge they are not healthy habits or rituals and often lead to more shame and guilt, in addition to becoming more addictive. Yet, even in knowing these facts, many continue to choose behaviors that cause harm, instead of focusing on solving the problems or addressing deeper emotional issues in life.

In reaching out to someone struggling with self-harm, keep in mind that although the choice of how to cope may be different, many adults have much more in common than we might acknowledge at first glance. Many of us choose to intentionally participate in vices and behaviors that manifest harm in some capacity even if the more obvious physical effects of self-harm are not present.

Christian T. Hill, M.A., the Self-Harm Expert, can be contacted at 719-233-TEEN or selfharmexpert@gmail.com.

(Originally published in the March 21, 2019, print edition of The Mountain-Ear.)