Tanya Bokat, Peak to Peak.

We anchored off Norman’s Cay in the Northern Exumas for a few days.

Don’t ask me what days, and definitely don’t ask me what day it is.

Our friend, Tripp, on Piper has resorted to answering the question,

“What day is it?” as simply “IT’S AWESOME DAY!”

(Because nobody knows, and look where you are!)

We had awesome spearfishing adventures off Norman’s. Dave speared his

first lionfish, and another and another. He actually speared one with

the last one still ON the spear. Lionfish are these super cool

looking fish that are taking over and ravaging the reefs. One is

supposed to keep a log of where you saw, or better yet, killed it.

The bad thing about killing them is that they have these nasty spiky

fins full of venom if you are in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The good thing about killing them is that THEY TASTE GREAT!

Our  next find was a large Queen Conch. Piper had to dig deep into

their boat library to find the book on how to clean a conch. It’s a

lot of work, but we were determined. First you need to smash a hole

through the shell between the second and third rows of the Queen's

crown. Next, you use that hole to get a knife in and cut the muscle

that holds it in the shell. Dave took a hatchet and did a Jack

Nicholson routine on it. After this it is fairly easy to pull the

whole slimy creature right out. Now you need to clean the conch, which

includes cutting off both eyes and the penis which is right next to

the eyes. All the kids thought this was hilarious. And finally, you

“bark” the conch. This entails grabbing the thin layer of skin off the

meaty hunk with your teeth and tearing it off. Dave had the honors. We

learned that this is no longer the method used in commercial Bahamian

restaurants after someone apparently found a tooth in their conch

fritters. Nonetheless, Dave did it the old fashioned way and still has

all of his teeth.

Once the conch is cleaned and barked, you tenderize the meat by taking out

any leftover frustrations on the meat.

The next day, Lisa made the best conch fritters ever with an amazing

coconut lime curry sauce.

But not until after Dave and Tripp saved the Dink….

Dave was having a little late night capper out on deck under a

moonless sky. He came down and broke me from my reading frenzy (‘Wind

from the Carolinas’ by Robert Wilder) to say he thought he saw a

dinghy float by.

The anchorage is right next to a shallow reef, and there were rocks

just beyond where we were anchored. It is not exactly the type of

place you want to be in the dark on a boat. But I got on the VHF and

hailed, “All vessels All vessels All vessels, did anyone lose their

dinghy?"

The only one who responded was, of course, Tripp on Piper. Friends

become so very dear when you are alone at sea on a boat and you don’t

know what to do. Dave did not want to risk going after it in Diablo

Rojo, our dinghy… which deserves a blog post in and of itself, but

suffice it to say, ‘ole Rojo is DEFINITELY not the boat you want to be

in heading downwind out to sea across a reef at night. Tripp

volunteered to take Tink, their steadfast 10′ Trinka. The two capitans

went off into the darkness and in about 30 minutes came back driving a

brand new $30,000 18′ Nautica RIB with 115 hp engine…. towing Tink!

One would think it would not be difficult to find the owner of such a

fine vessel, and you can bet that momma Tanya was thinking that this

would be a great step up from Diablo Rojo. The boys drove around the

anchorage to all the possible candidates (read, large megayacht

motorboats) and finally found the mother yacht’s name on the side of

the tender. They woke up the crew by shining lights in the cabins

while driving circles around the monstrous mega-yacht. I looked her

up- she was a newly sold 6 million dollar yacht. The crew was quite

stunned and confused, but the stewardess handed them off a nice bottle

of Veuve Cliquot champagne as a finder’s fee.

We got to celebrate New Year’s all over again, with the best conch

fritters on the planet with a really nice bottle of champagne.

So you tell me, “What day is it again?”

(It's Your Turn is a completely reader written issue. Originally published in the August 16, 2018, print edition of The Mountain-Ear.)