April 1, 2023 Exclusive to The Mountain-Ear

When the Frost family found out that the Frozen Dead Guy Days was moving to Estes Park, they felt compelled to reveal that their uncle Jack has been in cryo-freeze for 12 years in a POD storage container in Old Town. “Uncle Jack would want the festival to continue,” said his niece Cassandra. The family contacted the Nederland Business Association, who set about to create a new festival. They needed a name that wouldn’t conflict with the original festival, so they came up with Frigid Deceased Gentleman Days, or FDGD.

“We have a great music lineup for the Festival,” said FDGD organizer Crystal Reeder. “Coldplay is the headliner, and they are donating their usual fee to local non-profits. We also have Vanilla Ice and the surviving members of Kool And The Gang.” Absolut Vodka is a main sponsor, and will be serving Absolut Zero Martinis at restaurants and bars around town.

“There will be refrigerator races, where every team of six contestants gets a plywood refrigerator and carries a frozen cadaver in the ‘fridge’ on a bumpy ride through the obstacle course. Of course no festival would be complete without a film series, so we’re showing Frozen, Ice Age II, The Ice Road, and the Beeck Sisters’documentary, One Cool Dude for a Cryo Cinema at the Back Door Theater,” said Ms. Reeder. “This will be Netflix and Chill on steroids.”

Ben and Jerry’s will be sponsoring an Ice Cream Eating Contest. It is sort of a ‘last man standing’ idea,” said Reeder, “where one by one, contestants will drop out with unbearable ice cream headaches.” The winner gets a year’s supply of Ben and Jerry’s new flavors, Freezer Burn, and Chunky Surprise.

The finale of the Festival will be the unveiling of the 100-foot-tall Ice Man Sculpture with a laser light show, and a lighted drone display illuminating the Coldplay concert. For more information, go to frigidfest.ned