Hansen Wendlandt, Pastor, Nederland Community Presbyterian Church.   So many Christians over the last few decades have been so vocal about all the things that they think are wrong with the world, that it can seem that they are against just about everything. They don’t like science one bit. They burn Korans and think atheists will burn later. Recycling a can of beer is out. A few Christians don’t even allow dancing or hand-holding, while most of them have at least some sort of problem with the existence of s-e-x. And if you watch any news, they must all just loathe homosexuality.

Actually, the narrative of Christians Against Everything has been shifting lately, and not just because of the Pope.

Last week the Presbyterian Church (USA) – the organization with which the Nederland Community Presbyterian Church is affiliated – became the largest Christian denomination in the world to affirm gay marriage. The Quakers went there first, as they were also the first to protest slavery and support women’s equality, but chances are you might not know any Quakers. There are, however, 1.8 million Presbyterians in over 10,000 congregations spread across the country.

Certainly other major denominations have made moves on gay rights. The Episcopalian church, for instance, ordained a gay bishop years ago. Lutheran pastors have some room to bless same-sex unions. Yet the Presbyterian Church (USA) is the first of the mainline churches to go this far.

What does that mean? And maybe more importantly, what does it not mean?

It does not mean that every Presbyterian is on board. First of all, it does not mean that everyone who participates at NCPC agrees with the decision. We are a diverse family, with different backgrounds, experiences, worldviews and opinions. Some of our folks are thrilled; some are aghast. I certainly do not speak for all of them, on this or any issue. (And by speaking on this issue at all, let us all be very clear that this article is intended to be informational, not preachy.)

Second of all, this change does not mean that every church with “Presbyterian” in its title agrees. A few other denominations share our name, such as the “Evangelical Presbyterian Church” and the “Presbyterian Church in America,” which broke away a few decades ago so they would not have to ordain women. The all new “Evangelical Covenant Order of Presbyterians” is growing fast now, specifically as a destination for congregations that want to leave the PCUSA over gay rights issues.

Also, this decision does not mean that anyone “gave up on the Bible” or “turned away from God” or any other silly accusation. Instead, it should show more clearly how it is possible for people of deep faith to have different faith. For instance, many Christians tend to believe that the Bible describes ancient practices of slavery, misogyny, genocide, and homophobia, while not prescribing any of them for today. And for many Presbyterians, working toward this change of policy, based on that sort of Biblical understanding, has been one of the most spiritual activities of their lives.

On the other hand, this decision does mean a few things. It means that our neighbors who identify anywhere on the LGBTQI spectrum could feel differently: I suppose, more supported or hopeful. Whatever side of the issue you are on, this is a bellwether moment for gay rights, and it could very well tip other churches toward making similar decisions.

It also does mean that people on all sides have an opportunity to grow, as hard as that may seem now, while feelings run high. Folks who applaud this change simply cannot applaud in the faces of those who disagree. Gay rights supporters need to listen, with patience, and embrace, without judgment, the folks for whom this decision is painful.

At the same time, people who are offended by the change might be asked to not demonize supporters, but to listen carefully to their position and try to remember all the times in the past that they have been able to worship and serve and eat and study and laugh and cry together. Those relationships do not need to change.

This decision may even mean that more people will be interested in, or at least not as turned off by, church. The most common words used to describe Christians in America are “judgmental,” “hypocritical,” and “anti-gay.” Perhaps this very visible shift in how churches engage in the world will give more folks pause, and encourage them to talk about faith with their friends, or even to investigate why so many people spend Sunday mornings singing and praying together, and save their hiking until the afternoon.

We are, of course, in a time of heavy cultural divisiveness, and this topic is a huge fault line. The PCUSA decision is sparking angry debate and fracturing congregations across the country. Some pastors are receiving hate mail and threats. Can we be better than that? Whether you think this is a tragedy or triumph, whether you associate with NCPC or another church or follow your own spirituality or think nothing about God—however you feel about all the many issues that the decision raises—can we find civil ways of living together? Rather than hiding our thoughts and feelings, let us work toward achieving disagreement, for the good of our communities and for the good of our own hearts.