“I do not know what to do with my employee.” Tristan breathed out an exasperated sigh.

“I’ve tried everything. It seems like he wanted more management time, so I set up an additional weekly meeting. Then he was having personal problems, so I brought in my HR person and we had even more meetings. He wanted time off, so I coordinated with other employees to cover his shifts. Then he wanted more time off.” Tristan looked out at the rushing creek behind our office, and sighed again.

“Is this new behavior?” I asked.

“No, that’s the thing. When I hired him, I knew he’d need extra support. He’s got some family issues and maybe some mental health thing going on—I don’t know, he never told me anything about that. But I wanted to help him out! Give him a chance. My wife told me I was taking on a lot, but I wanted to try.” Tristan’s expression had shifted from angry to sad, and he began to fidget in his seat.

“But what’s different now?” I pressed. “It seems like something has changed recently. Have things gotten worse at work?”

“What’s changed is me. The amount of time I’m spending meeting with him, supporting his emotional needs, making up for his mistakes, and frankly just walking on eggshells around the office waiting for the next shoe to drop, is just too much. I’m worrying about the whole situation during my time off, and now it’s impacting my family time. Something’s gotta give.”

The American Psychological Association (APA) reports that work is one of the top three sources of stress for Americans, and the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health reports that 75% of workers today believe they are more stressed-out than previous generations.

Long-term workplace stress can lead to chronic stress, which the APA explains can cause anxiety, insomnia, muscle pain, high blood pressure, and a weakened immune system. It can also contribute to the development of major illnesses such as heart disease, depression, and obesity.

Tristan and I came up with a game plan, and he began with observing two weeks at his job: documenting all of the time he spent on his employee, including direct contact (like meetings), and indirect (researching resources to support his employee).

Additionally, Tristan kept track of the internal time he spent thinking about, worrying, fretting, and stewing about work.

Tristan’s next step was resourcing—talking to people both within and outside of the company. His goal was to get a variety of perspectives on the situation, and to learn from others what he might be missing or not seeing.

Finally, Tristan sat down officially with HR and other managers on his team to process all of the information he had compiled, and come up with next steps.

On a personal level, Tristan talked with his wife to discuss how chronic stress had been impacting him and the family.

He immediately made an appointment for a physical with his doctor (it had been a while), began walking the dogs in the evening again, and committed to weekly family hikes every Saturday morning. His wife started making plans for a summer trip, and Tristan put in the vacation request.

Chronic stress doesn’t develop overnight, and it’s not remedied overnight. The long-term impact on our bodies and minds makes it worth taking the time to address it.

What is your biggest source of long-term stress? I’d love to hear about your experiences at amy@peaktopeakcounseling.com, 303-258-7454, and you can always find past articles at www.peaktopeakcounseling.com or find us at www.facebook.com/peaktopeakcounselingservices.